Divorce Advice
What Any Couple Contemplating Divorce Should Know
Divorce is rarely the best option.
In giving divorce advice, my emphasis is to encourage and coach couples, especially parents, on how to keep their families together and heal their marriage. In my opinion, those of us in the healing professions need to do more to reach out and speak to parents who are struggling in their marriages. Health professionals, teachers, friends and relatives can offer strong encouragement for them to seek the right help immediately. In most cases, we need not accept divorce advice as a constructive option.
My intention is not to evoke guilt in parents who are considering divorce but rather to inspire and encourage them to not give into the fantasy that divorce is a long term solution to their problems. If more couples would invest just a fraction of the time and money that they invest in mastering business practices, to learn relationship skills, a majority of unnecessary divorces could be avoided. In turn, a big drop in the divorce rate could prevent another generation of
children from having to suffer the life-altering trauma of divorce.
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There Definitely is Hope
When people get to the point where they are seeking divorce advice, they usually feel hopeless about getting the love they want in their marriage. I view this as parallel to clients who are thinking about suicide. When questioned in depth, suicidal clients usually understand that it isn’t that they want to die, it’s that they don’t want to live the way they are living and don’t see any hope or options for change. So it is with many parents considering divorce. They don’t relish the idea of divorce or breaking up the family, disrupting the lives of their children or creating psychological trauma. They simply cannot imagine continuing to live the way they are living and don’t see any hope of making the change required to have a new and better marriage with their spouse.
But the reality is that even a nearly lifeless relationship can be brought back to life and restored to health fairly quickly. It takes marriage partners who have some motivation to save their marriage plus a skilled couples’ specialist. I see successful marriage transformations taking place every day in my practice.
More articles on Divorce Advice:
Divorce Separation
Broken Heart
A Cheating Spouse
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